“I hope he rots in Hell!” the woman (let’s call her Marge) sitting in front of me said, her voice filled with bitterness. I sat and listened attentively for the next fifteen minutes as she described in vivid detail all the nasty things her ex did and all the pain he brought into her life. Listening to her, I thought that she just went through a divorce. I was wrong. She went on to tell me that she was divorced over twenty years prior. The lines and wrinkles etched on her face spoke of the many years of anger and resentment she was still carrying around.
Marge was stuck. Her failing to let go and to forgive was causing her to relive the painful events of twenty years ago–everyday. She was stuck in the past, and it was robbing her of peace, joy, and even her physical health.
Our Lord gave us a roadmap to follow when we are wronged or persecuted. He taught us to pray for those who persecute us and to forgive them. While this can be very difficult, it is essential to freeing ourselves of our painful past and claiming the great life God created us for. Start by praying everyday for the grace you need to let go of the resentment and to forgive. Forgiveness is a process that takes time. Rely on the Sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation to give you strength. Don’t give up! It is the key to your emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being.
“You have heard this it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.” – Matthew 5:43-44
Originally posted 2014-12-03 06:00:28.
Can I still go to confession and receive communion if I am remarried outside of the church?
Theresa,
Thank you for your question. If you are presently remarried outside the Church without an annulment, you may not receive the Sacraments of Confession or Communion (Eucharist). Unless you receive an annulment, the Church continues to recognize your previous marriage as valid. Please know that the Church longs for your return. It is not too late. I would encourage you to seek an annulment. Assuming that is granted, you can then have your present marriage convalidated. You will then be able to resume receiving the sacraments. You should also know that your current husband may need to go through the annulment process as well if he was previously married. I suggest you talk to your local parish priest. He can guide you in the right direction. There is reason for you to be encouraged, as the Church, under Pope Francis’s leadership, is beginning to address the needs of Catholics who have remarried outside the Church.
I will be hosting an on-line workshop on Annulments right after the first of the year. You may find that helpful. I applaud your courage to consider returning to the Church. Know that your return is cause for celebration both in the Church and in Heaven! (Luke 15:4-6)
In Christ,
Vince
Forgive is a choice. Every day I woke up and said I choose to forgive. It took years for my emotions to catch up with my decision
Amen, Brother Dave!