What The Heck?

“What the heck are you doing to me?!” was my plea to God when my world was crashing down around me those first days after my divorce hit. I was angry, especially at God. I thought that He always had my back, and now I felt abandoned. I blamed God for not saving my marriage. […]

Eject Button

What do getting divorced, remarried, and divorced again in less than nine months, leaving your kids to become a groupie for a rock band, and moving to South America all have in common? They are all real choices made by people during their first year of divorce. Why would people make such obviously poor decisions? […]

War

The pain was very evident in her voice and on her face as Ellen described how, because of their emotional distress, her two youngest boys were actually pulling out their eyebrows. Ellen had gone through a bitter divorce three years earlier. She and her ex were still waging war daily for some reason or another. Most […]

Lucky

By reading through the Gospels, the evidence is clear: Christ was focused on healing. It was one of the main acts of compassion that He performed as He traveled around spreading His message of love and the kingdom of God. As word spread of His healing miracles, people came from all over Israel to find Him […]

Bedrock

During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]

Good Grief

“Mom, it feels like someone has died,” I tearfully said to my mother the month after my divorce was filed. The emotional pain was so overwhelming it paralyzed me. I couldn’t think clearly, and getting through the day doing even just basic tasks, like brushing my teeth or getting dressed, took every ounce of energy […]

Stuck

“I hope he rots in Hell!” the woman (let’s call her Marge) sitting in front of me said, her voice filled with bitterness. I sat and listened attentively for the next fifteen minutes as she described in vivid detail all the nasty things her ex did and all the pain he brought into her life. Listening […]

Got Your Back

  With the recent anniversary of Pope St. John Paul II’s canonization on Divine Mercy Sunday 2014, it is a good time to be reminded of what this amazing pope and saint-to-be said about divorced Catholics. He has our back! I earnestly call upon pastors and the whole community of the faithful to help the […]

Need A Boost?

While it has been many years since my divorce, there are still days when I feel overwhelmed with life. It happens to all of us. Unfortunately, when going through a divorce, overwhelmed seems to be one’s state of life. I happened upon this Psalm when I was having one of “those” days. Praying it never […]

Scars

I often use the metaphor of a car crash to describe a divorce. Like a car crash, the people going through a divorce emerge very battered and bruised with the scars to show for it. Most people view scars as something bad, something to hide. But that is not how Jesus viewed His scars. His […]