Set Apart

“This feels like a death,” I distinctly remember telling my mother on a very cold, and very lonely, November day, shortly after my divorce was filed. A divorce is a death—the death of a marriage. And with it comes all the same feelings of grief that are associated with a physical death. And like a […]

Made for Greatness

It is very easy to become disillusioned with our faith and with God when dealing with the crushing difficulty of divorce. It can be a lonely time, and God can feel very distant. We can become resigned to thinking that our lot in life is to endure some form of misery for the remainder of our […]

Outsider

I will never forget the feeling of isolation I felt when I was going through my divorce. I turned to my parish and there were no programs for people who were separated or divorced. I tried to talk to my Pastor, and while he tried his best, he could offer me nothing more than the simple […]

Freedom

“I can’t forgive him, he’s not sorry for what he did.” was the response from Stacy when she was asked how she felt about forgiving her former spouse. She went on to explain that she thought that, just as in order to receive forgiveness from God for our sins we must be truly sorry, the […]

The Yardstick

“This is the third time this month you have been late picking up the kids. You are going to have to figure out a way to be more on time,” I said coldly. My former spouse just looked at me with a mixture of embarrassment and exhaustion. After the kids were gone and the house […]

Kiss of Jesus

“I can’t take it anymore!” were the words that tumbled out of my mouth as I sat defeated in front of a very young-looking priest. I had really been suffering from the new reality of my divorce. Well, what I heard next shocked me. He said, “Your suffering is actually helping you heal from your […]

Treasure Hunt

At the workshops I give for divorced Catholics, I am often asked how to find the perfect spouse. Many people approach meeting their future spouse like it is a treasure hunt. They believe that the reason they have not met “the one” yet is because they are not looking in the right way, or in the […]

A Relationship

I have a Catholic prayer book that is over one hundred pages long. In  this book there is every imaginable prayer. Prayers you would expect, like prayers for healing, but also some you would not, like prayers for safety during bad weather. Catholics never seem to be at a loss for ready-made prayers. It is not […]

Missing Peace

I used to play a video game with my kids that required all sorts of heroic feats and superhuman strength to conquer the monsters, and overcome the overwhelming obstacles, that greeted you as you wove your way through various pursuits in search of a missing puzzle piece that would solve the riddle and win the […]

Untapped

One evening, I was leaving a meeting at my parish, and was pulling out of my parking space, when I stopped dead in my tracks.  I had just realized that I walked out of the church and forgot to make a visit to Jesus. In every Catholic Church around the world, Jesus, in the form […]