The Dance

I was standing in the kitchen when all of a sudden the house was flooded with the sound of contemporary music, rudely interrupting my peaceful morning. I knew who the culprit was: my five-year-old son, as this was his usual morning routine. I called out to him to “please turn that down” and went back […]

Outsider

I will never forget the feeling of isolation I felt when I was going through my divorce. I turned to my parish and there were no programs for people who were separated or divorced. I tried to talk to my Pastor, and while he tried his best, he could offer me nothing more than the simple […]

Stuck

“I hope he rots in Hell!” the woman (let’s call her Marge) sitting in front of me said, her voice filled with bitterness. I sat and listened attentively for the next fifteen minutes as she described in vivid detail all the nasty things her ex did and all the pain he brought into her life. Listening […]

A Bridge Back

I often think about the Catholics that have left the faith because of their divorce. The reasons they left are usually because they feel alienated, ashamed, or unwelcome. Often, the annulment process is a stumbling block, too. In any case, there is usually a sense of loss when I talk to them. It is sad. I […]

Bedrock

During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]

Catch-22

Recently, I was speaking to a group on the virtue of chastity. A highly charged topic, for sure.  One woman raised her hand and offered that what she was most afraid of was being alone the rest of her life. She felt she was in a Catch-22 of sorts. She was afraid that if she committed to […]

Need A Boost?

While it has been many years since my divorce, there are still days when I feel overwhelmed with life. It happens to all of us. Unfortunately, when going through a divorce, overwhelmed seems to be one’s state of life. I happened upon this Psalm when I was having one of “those” days. Praying it never […]

Unfair Advantage

“If you have to go through a divorce, thank God you are Catholic!” I exclaimed to a group of divorced and separated Catholics. A puzzled look replaced the mostly pain-filled expressions I saw staring back at me. I knew what they were thinking: “How is being Catholic going to get me out of this mess?” […]

Got Joy?

I remember when I was in the throes of my divorce, one of my co-workers said, “I know this is difficult. You deserve to be happy.” I thought, “Yea, she’s right. I do deserve to be happy!” Back then, I approached happiness like some kind of life achievement, like graduating from high school. I wanted to […]