War

The pain was very evident in her voice and on her face as Ellen described how, because of their emotional distress, her two youngest boys were actually pulling out their eyebrows. Ellen had gone through a bitter divorce three years earlier. She and her ex were still waging war daily for some reason or another. Most […]

Bedrock

During a recent all-day workshop, I had repeated often my view that if one had to go through a divorce, it was a blessing to be Catholic. My point was that our Catholic faith offers so much hope and healing, particularly through the Sacraments, that to have to go through a divorce without them makes the […]

Good Grief

“Mom, it feels like someone has died,” I tearfully said to my mother the month after my divorce was filed. The emotional pain was so overwhelming it paralyzed me. I couldn’t think clearly, and getting through the day doing even just basic tasks, like brushing my teeth or getting dressed, took every ounce of energy […]

Aim High

The low point in my divorce came on Christmas morning, about two months after my divorce was filed. I actually got a call from my attorney; he wanted to discuss some aspect of my divorce (he didn’t celebrate Christmas since he was Jewish). I remember getting off that call and thinking, “I will be so […]

Want To Be Happy?

“I’m miserable” was the reason I got from my former spouse when it was clear there were some serious problems in our marriage. It seems to be the all too common reason why people end their marriage. They are not “happy.” It has become so common that many people accept it as a legitimate reason to […]

Overcomer

I am a huge fan of Christian music. It never fails to inspire me and make me feel closer to Christ. It doesn’t matter how stressed I am, when I play my favorite Christian songs, I am transformed. My attitude becomes more positive, my worries dissipate, and I even feel more alive. The first year […]

Brick by Brick

The crisis of divorce is often like one’s house burning down. When it is all over, all that is left is the charred remains of what was once a marriage. Just like with a burned house, your life must be rebuilt. The first phase involves clearing away the rubble of your life. The next phase […]

Stuck

“I hope he rots in Hell!” the woman (let’s call her Marge) sitting in front of me said, her voice filled with bitterness. I sat and listened attentively for the next fifteen minutes as she described in vivid detail all the nasty things her ex did and all the pain he brought into her life. Listening […]

Got Your Back

  With the recent anniversary of Pope St. John Paul II’s canonization on Divine Mercy Sunday 2014, it is a good time to be reminded of what this amazing pope and saint-to-be said about divorced Catholics. He has our back! I earnestly call upon pastors and the whole community of the faithful to help the […]