Crazy Betty

I stayed in the house with the kids after the divorce, and I decided I needed to spruce the place up a bit.  A friend had recommended an interior designer to me, named Betty. I came to call her Crazy Betty because she was always hitting on me, and, invariably after our meetings, she would conveniently “forget” something requiring her to come back so she could hit on me some more. While it was somewhat gratifying to be getting this type of attention, Betty was over-the-top with all her compliments, her incessant pats on the back, gleeful giggles with the accompanying touching of my arm, and her shameless flirting. I always felt like a hurricane passed through my house after she left.

I put up with Betty because she was very talented and had an almost clairvoyant way of knowing what I liked. In the span of about three months, my family room, kitchen, laundry room and master bed and bathroom were transformed simply using a little paint, wallpaper, and moving some furniture around. The house now clearly had my fingerprints all over it. It felt good. It felt like me. It felt like home.

One of the most difficult aspects of divorce is letting go of your marriage and all the hopes and dreams that it was built upon. This is especially true if your physical surroundings have not changed. Every day is a constant reminder that something is missing, and that something is your former spouse. Help yourself to begin the hard, but necessary, process of letting go by making some simple changes to your physical surroundings. A little paint can go a long way toward helping you begin to enjoy the present and look forward to the future.

For see, the winter is past, the rains are over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of pruning the vines has come, and the song of the turtledove is heard in our land. – Song of Songs 2:11-12

Originally posted 2014-06-03 06:00:01.

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2 thoughts on “Crazy Betty

  1. I was evicted from my home thanks to my ex-spouse, and I have lived in 4 different places since 2015…My ex-spouse has no regrets for what he did to me and the pets who were with us for years; were actually my son’s but, when he went away to college, he and his father decided that they were my responsibility…My ex-spouse is an attorney, and my son makes in excess of 100K a year. I am the least able to afford this but, not only was I abandoned after 20-years of marriage, but the dog and cat were innocent bystanders and abandoned also…Your comments are very helpful relating to suffering and the suffering of our Lord. I just don’t know what to do next. I have no family…Could you offer me some pointers? Thank you.

    • I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. Many times, prayer is all you can do. Put it all in God’s hands and trust. I know that is difficult to do sometimes, but it is a foolproof solution. Here is a prayer, written by St. Francis de Sales, that I pray when I find things are really difficult. Maybe it will help you:

      Do not look forward in fear to the changes and chances of this life;
      Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise,
      God, to whom you belong will in His love enable you to profit by them.
      He has guided you thus far in life, and He will lead you safely through all trials;
      and when you cannot stand it, God will bury you in His arms.
      Do not fear what may happen tomorrow;
      the same everlasting Father who cares for you today
      will take care of you then and every day.
      He will either shield you from suffering,
      or will give you unfailing strength to bear it.
      Be at peace, then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations. Amen.

      Live Abundantly,