One of the most common reactions to divorce is fear. That is very understandable. Who wouldn’t be scared if their entire life came crashing in around them? The problem with fear is not being scared, that’s normal. The problem is acting on fear. That’s when fear becomes a lousy strategy. Here is a better strategy: hope. Hope is not about […]
Life after my divorce was so uncertain and disorienting. So much had changed. Most of the familiar routines, people, and traditions disappeared. My life felt awkward, almost alien. It really was as if I had been dropped onto Mars. I spent most of my energy numbly fumbling around trying to make sense of the my new life’s landscape. I […]
“I can’t take it anymore!” were the words that tumbled out of my mouth as I sat defeated in front of a very young-looking priest. I had really been suffering from the new reality of my divorce. Well, what I heard next shocked me. He said, “Your suffering is actually helping you heal from your […]
“I’m scared, Daddy!” shouted my son above the din of man-made water rapids and squeals of about five hundred other kids. We were at a water park on a hot summer day, and we were making our way through the “Lazy River.” The problem for my son was that this part of the Lazy River […]
One night, I was in a boat with my brother on a lake near where I live. We could see lightning in the distance and thought that it was far away. It was getting late and we decided to head back to the dock. We were about 15 minutes into a 30 minute boat ride, […]
I could see the frustration and apprehension on Chloe’s face as she was telling me about her latest travail with her former spouse. Chloe was a participant in our Recovering from Divorce Program and had just gone through a divorce during the past year. She was really struggling with creating a cooperative, working relationship with her […]
One day, I had taken my four-year-old to the park to play. He loves the swings, so he made a bee-line for them as soon as we got there. In his typical independent way, he wanted to learn how to “pump” his legs so he didn’t need me to push him anymore. The more he tried, […]
“Realizing I had no other choice, I lifted the dryer and turned it upside down and out dropped my cellphone,” Sara said as she described how she solved the dilemma of her cellphone falling down the dryer’s lint vent. This would be surprising enough if a burly football player-type had said it, but this was […]
I often use the metaphor of a car crash to describe a divorce. Like a car crash, the people going through a divorce emerge very battered and bruised with the scars to show for it. Most people view scars as something bad, something to hide. But that is not how Jesus viewed His scars. His […]
After my divorce I was carrying a very heavy cross. Surprisingly, what made my cross so heavy was not the usual challenges of being a single parent, financial uncertainty, or dealing with a difficult ex. I certainly had my share of these challenges. What turned my cross from wood to lead was my difficulties with living […]