I often use the metaphor of a car crash to describe a divorce. Like a car crash, the people going through a divorce emerge very battered and bruised with the scars to show for it. Most people view scars as something bad, something to hide. But that is not how Jesus viewed His scars. His […]
The month after my divorce was filed, my life was in crisis, to say the least. I was simultaneously dealing with the extremely painful emotional fallout, while trying to work, and take care of three small children. I was consumed with doing all the things I needed to get done. My attitude was, “It is all up […]
What do getting divorced, remarried, and divorced again in less than nine months, leaving your kids to become a groupie for a rock band, and moving to South America all have in common? They are all real choices made by people during their first year of divorce. Why would people make such obviously poor decisions? […]
Each step I took up the stairs was a struggle. It felt like my feet were encased in concrete. It was the night before the court hearing that would determine the outcome of my divorce and the custody of my children. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I didn’t want to […]
“If you have to go through a divorce, thank God you are Catholic!” I exclaimed to a group of divorced and separated Catholics. A puzzled look replaced the mostly pain-filled expressions I saw staring back at me. I knew what they were thinking: “How is being Catholic going to get me out of this mess?” […]
“This generation is always looking for a quick fix.” spilled out of my mouth as I was sharing some parenting challenge with a friend. I was smug in my surety that I was different–that I was older and wiser. But the truth is, I’m really not. In fact, I think most people, no matter their […]
I remember when I was in the throes of my divorce, one of my co-workers said, “I know this is difficult. You deserve to be happy.” I thought, “Yea, she’s right. I do deserve to be happy!” I approached happiness like some kind of life achievement, like graduating from high school. I wanted to graduate […]
I vividly remember getting the call from my divorce attorney telling me that my spouse was seeking full custody of our children. That shook me to my core and threw me into full-on crisis mode. I did not want to lose my children! Like any good Catholic, I began to storm heaven with my many prayers begging […]
Marriages are supposed to be for life. That’s how God designed them. Divorce is an obvious sign that something went seriously wrong with that plan. Most divorces don’t happen overnight. It is usually the result of a cumulative series of events. If you are totally honest with yourself, you can see what role you played […]
One of the most common reactions to divorce is fear. That is very understandable. Who wouldn’t be scared if their entire life came crashing in around them? The problem with fear is not being scared, that’s normal. The problem is acting on fear. That’s when fear becomes a lousy strategy. Here is a better strategy: hope. Hope is not about […]